As humans, we all struggle with being pessimistic from time to time. We often blame others, the condition, the society, the lack of resources, etc. as the root of our problem. While this may be the case in some instances, it is us, most of the time that is to be blamed for our problems. While very often we point negativity outside, we must learn to acknowledge the cynical behaviour within us to progress healthily and create a positive environment.
Being toxic refers to a kind of behaviour that often passes on negative energy to other people, resulting in unhealthy relationships, stressful lives, and a lack of personal progress. While we may consider others to be the ‘toxic one’, it is crucial to identify toxic traits within yourself and improve upon them for growth and improvement.
A few of the most common toxic traits are as follows:
- You tend to overthink, have a lot of negative thoughts – Every time you lie down to sleep or are sitting alone sipping your tea, you often tend to spiral down towards negative thoughts questioning whether or not you made the right choices or are you good enough. For a toxic person, something is always wrong and nothing is ever right. If you focus on the problems more than the solutions, you might want to start being optimistic because the former is a toxic trait!
- You judge or get jealous easily – If you are constantly driven with the idea of being ‘the best’ and can’t accept seeing others rise, this is a sign of you might being a toxic person. It is human to judge but being constantly judgemental and jealous of others can disturb personal and professional relationships and create a negative environment. It is crucial to accept that you might be wrong.
- You tend to dominate and be the centre of attention -A thin line between extroverts and toxic people is the latter’s constant urge to dominate the discussions and be in the spotlight to seek attention and validation. It is inconsiderate, selfish and sends the message that you are not interested in anyone else’s life but your own. If you find yourself being the kind of person who invalidates someone’s emotions or dominates and manipulates others, then you might be a toxic person.
- Being dishonest or disrespectful – To get out of a situation, to make yourself the victim/hero of a story or to entertain yourself by watching others react to different hypothetical situations, toxic people tend to lie frequently. You might create an entirely new scenario, twist an existing story around or remove essential facts in the process of sharing things. In this process it is also a warning sign when you start disrespecting other’s feelings for your own needs and attention. For a toxic person, everything starts to revolve around themselves, ultimately leading to miscommunications and difficulties in their relationships.
- You live for gossip and pointing mistakes in others – Being envious, gossiping – especially if it is dirt on someone else, is your favourite activity. The truth or falsity of the information is of no concern to you; if you have heard it, you will pass it on. If this is you, it is time to be honest with yourself and apologise whenever needed!
While these are just some of the many toxic traits of a person, they speak volumes about the kind of person he/she may or may not be! Surely it is not fun actively picking yourself apart and realising that you may have problems but it is healthier and better to acknowledge the wrongs instead of continuing with them. Once you can identify these behaviours in yourself and accept that you can be self-obsessed or negative, you can do something about it.
Here’s how:
- Accept and admit it!
- Take responsibility for your behaviour and own up to your mistakes!
- Seek help through trusted family, friends and mental health professionals!
- Do not be ashamed of your past and learn from it instead!
- Focus on the good and positive around yourself.
- Learn to unlearn prejudices and stereotypes!
- Surround yourself with positive people!
- Be there for others instead of expecting them to be there for you.
- Maintain a gratitude journal.
- Start being honest with yourself!
In the end, all that matters is you realise where you have done wrong and improve on it.
It is never too late to start being a better version of yourself!
